Preparing Your Child for Surgery

Before Surgery – Infants (Younger than 1 year of age)

Talk to the healthcare team to make sure you understand your baby’s condition and how to best support your baby before surgery. You’ll be more relaxed and better able to offer comfort and reassurance. 

What things may cause my infant to feel distressed before surgery?

• Being away from you or a primary caregiver
• Disruption of familiar routines

How can I help calm and comfort my infant before surgery?

• Bring familiar and soothing items for your baby. Examples include pacifiers, soft blankets, sound machines and your child’s favorite stuffed animals. These items can help to normalize the environment and console your infant if you need to leave the room for a while.
• Stay calm. Your infant can sense when you or other caregivers are stressed or anxious and can internalize these feelings. When you’re relaxed, your child will feel more comfortable, too.   
• Take care of yourself. It’s important to tend to your own needs as well as your infant’s. Take time to eat and sleep, and bring along some of your favorite things that help you relax. Reach out to your support system when you need someone to talk to.

Before Surgery – Toddler (1 to 2 years old)

Talk to the healthcare team to make sure you understand your toddler’s condition and how to offer support before surgery. You’ll be more relaxed and better able to offer comfort and reassurance.

What things might cause toddlers distress before surgery?

• Being away from you and other caregivers
• Believing that surgery is a punishment for something he or she did or said
• Feeling fearful of medical equipment
• Feeling uneasy about unfamiliar faces and surroundings

What can I do to comfort my toddler before surgery?

• Offer choices when appropriate. Young patients don’t always have a lot of choices while at the hospital. Giving your toddler choices, when possible, can provide a sense of control. Examples of toddler-friendly options include letting your child choose:
  • What comfort items to bring to the hospital
  • What toy to play with
  • What movie to watch after surgery
  • What favorite food or drink to have after surgery. (Be sure to check with the doctor first about diet restrictions.)
• Create a “See You Later!” routine. Even though toddlers are young, they are still aware of what is happening around them. Your toddler needs reassurance that you’ll be there after surgery. A special routine can help provide comfort by reminding your child that you will come back.
• Don’t offer too many details too soon. Most toddlers don’t fully understand the concept of time. It’s best to wait until a day or two before surgery to provide a short and honest explanation. For example, you could say: “Your [name of body part to be treated] has an owie. The doctors are going to help make your owie better. We’ll stay at the hospital until the doctors are done helping your [name of body part]. I’ll be with you while you’re at the hospital. Would you like to bring a favorite toy with you when we go to the hospital?”
• PLAY! This is the language of children and one of the best ways to learn about their fears or misunderstandings about treatments or plans. Doctor kits are a great way to help make medical care feel more familiar and normal. For example, children can role play being a doctor or nurse. This can give them a chance to see and use medical equipment they’ll see at the hospital, such as a stethoscope and bandages.

Contact Us

If you would like additional guidance on how to better prepare your child for surgery or schedule a POP tour, please call 602-933-1540 or email pchpoptours [at] phoenixchildrens.com (pchpoptours[at]phoenixchildrens[dot]com).

Before Surgery – Preschool (3 to 5 Years Old)

Talk to the healthcare team to make sure you understand your preschooler’s condition and how to offer support before surgery. You’ll be more relaxed and better able to offer comfort and reassurance.

What is my preschooler concerned about before surgery?

• Imagining that a surgical procedure will be different or worse than it is
• Believing that surgery is a punishment for something he or she has done
• Experiencing pain or injury to the body

How can I help make the surgery experience less stressful for my preschooler?

• Give them time to prepare. It is best to provide an honest and developmentally appropriate explanation of surgery and the hospital three to five days before surgery. For example, you can say:

“Your [name of body part] is [sick/hurt/not working the way it should] and we’re going to go to the hospital so the doctors can help to make it better The doctors will give you medicine so you sleep while they help your [name of body part] get better. This medicine makes it so that you don’t feel, see or hear anything while the doctors are helping your [name of body part]. We will stay at the hospital until the doctors are done helping your [name of body part]. Would you like to bring a favorite toy or stuffed animal with you when we go to the hospital?”

• Encourage self-expression. Your preschooler may have a lot of different feelings about the surgery. Tell your child what is going to happen before, during and after surgery in words that are easy to understand. One way to help your child prepare for the visit is to talk about ways to manage stress or other uncomfortable feelings. Suggest helpful techniques, such as bringing a comfort item or favorite toy, or taking deep breaths. Reassure your child that it is OK to cry, and it’s normal to feel scared.
• PLAY! Children love to play, and it’s an excellent way for them to express their feelings. Play can offer a safe outlet for them to communicate. They can express and learn to manage any fears or misconceptions. Play with doctor kits is a great way to familiarize preschoolers with and normalize healthcare. Engage in medical play with your child using the doctor kit. They can use a favorite doll or stuffed animal as their patient. It may help to play or pretend “going to the hospital and having surgery.”
• Offer choices when appropriate. There are often limited choices for patients once they’re in the hospital. Giving preschoolers choices, when possible, can provide a sense of control. Some examples of choices include:
  • What comfort items would you like to bring to the hospital?
  • What toy would you like to bring along to play with?
  • What movie would you like to watch after surgery?
  • Which favorite food or drink do you want to have when you get home after surgery? (Be sure to check with the doctor first about diet restrictions.)

Before Surgery – School-Age (5 to 12 Years Old)

Talk to the healthcare team to make sure you understand your school-age child’s condition and how to support your child before surgery. You’ll be more relaxed and better able to offer comfort and reassurance.

What might my school-aged child be concerned about?

• Waking up during surgery/anesthesia
• Pain or death
• How surgery may change appearances
• Loss of control

What can I do to make the surgery experience less stressful for my school-aged child?

• Be honest about what to expect. To maintain trust, it’s important to be honest with your child about the healthcare experience. Tell your child what is going to happen before, during and after surgery. Use words that are easy to understand. An example of this would be:

“A doctor will give you a medicine that makes you sleep during the entire surgery. This sleep is different from the sleeping you do at night. When you get the medicine, it makes you sleep in a way that you don’t feel, see or hear anything the doctors are doing. When they’re done with your surgery, they’ll stop giving you the sleeping medicine so you can wake up.”

• Give your child time to process the information. Talk to your child a week or two before the surgery. Encourage your child to express his or her thoughts or feelings regarding the surgery and be supportive of your child’s feelings. 
• Continue the conversation. Children may misunderstand information that is shared or overheard. It’s a good idea to ask your child to share his or her understanding of what will happen during the hospital visit/stay. This will give you an opportunity to clarify any misconceptions.

Involve your support system. Video chatting, phone calls and text messages can be a great way for family members and friends to be involved in your hospital experience. You can also ask them to draw pictures or write letters to your child to help keep them connected.

Before Surgery – Teens (13+ Years Old)

Talk to the healthcare team to make sure you understand your teen’s condition and how to support him or her before surgery. You’ll be more relaxed and better able to offer comfort and reassurance.

What are teens typically concerned about before surgery?

• Being dependent on others
• How surgery may change appearances
• How surgery may make them different than their friends

How can I help my teen manage any concerns and the surgery experience?

• Be honest and keep your teen involved in care. Teens want to be involved and feel like you hear and understand their views and concerns. They need to know and understand what to expect and how it affects the body and areas that are being treated. Being truthful and accurate with your teen is important when delivering sensitive information. Your teen may become frustrated and angry if there is a sense that trust has been broken.
• Encourage emotional outlets. Journaling can be a great way for teens to express thoughts and feelings. Music and art are also ways for teens to process the healthcare experience.
• Involve friends in the process. Video chatting, phone calls and text messages can be a great way to keep family and friends involved in the hospital experience. You may want to ask them to write letters to your teen as a way to keep them connected.  
• Maintain your teen’s privacy while in the hospital. Be respectful and mindful of your teen’s desire to have privacy in the hospital setting. Teens are often protective of their thoughts, feelings and bodies.
• Encourage questions, research and conversations. Teens may appear to understand more than they actually do. Ask your teen to share his or her understanding of the experience so you can fill any gaps or correct any misconceptions.